


Reddie Wips

by GaySquidBoy



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Asthma, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Cigarettes, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealous Eddie, M/M, Messy, Pennywise (IT) Being an Asshole, Tattooed Eddie Kaspbrak, Tattoos, Underage Smoking, WIP, and would totally shotgun cigarette smoke, drunk, twisted ankle means piggyback rides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-24 21:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22204969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaySquidBoy/pseuds/GaySquidBoy
Summary: Love the snippy insults and fighting but we can’t forget that Richie and Eddie are close friends and we also need to show them supporting each other, compliments, helping, protecting, and loving each other.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Love the snippy insults and fighting but we can’t forget that Richie and Eddie are close friends and we also need to show them supporting each other, compliments, helping, protecting, and loving each other.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tattoos!!

Adult Eddie getting lots of tattoos like sleeves with birds, old school video game stuff, nature, and stuff even when he doesn't remember his friends he still has dreams of them and emotions and he also has sappy shit about being brave and strong and self love. Struggling his whole life with feeling masculine and self love shit he started getting tattoos in college to cover and accept himself, the artists never doubted him, never thought of him as weak, never babied him. He really loved it. It hurt but at times it felt like the only thing he could feel. Most people didn’t even know he has tattoos because he keeps them covered all the time with professional clothing and jackets.

Myra hates them and it made him feel self contentious at times thinking he made the wrong choices but he kept getting them anyway, even though she insults them and tells him he looks like a tramp, cheap, ugly, tainted, and that he’s lucky she loves him for who he is and not his looks only, and that they were meant to be together and that he’s lucky he found her or else he might have been alone for life. Blah blah blah bullshit. When the losers find out the're all shocked but love them.

* * *

Eddie didn’t get mortally wounded in the caves that was a deadlight vision Richie saw. In reality Richie saved him by pulling him out of the way, it knocked the wind from him when Eddie slammed down onto his chest but his heart nearly stopped when he saw the giant clown claw swing above them in the spot Eddie had been a moment before. They scrabble to the cave and Richie starts to freak out and Eddie calms him down and try’s to tell him it’s not that scary but Richie is like: “you almost died AGAIN”

Eddie comforts him, saying that Pennywise isn't all powerful and that when It made him feel small in the store basement It left once he fought back. They rally and get brave thanks to Ed. They kill It and bust out. They go to the quarry and Eddie tells them it’s nasty and full of chemicals and dirty run off water, but they all jump in anyway. Ben is the one who notices first and asks Eddie “wait dude, do you have tattoos” at the colored patterns showing under his wet shirt and down his arms as he rolls his wet sleeves up.

Ben notices first and once pointed out everyone pushes forward to see, 'what the fucks' are thrown around and Bev squeals about how cool he is now

"dude what... that's so unlike you" Ben says 

“It’s perfectly safe and healthy as long as you choice a licensed and clean artist and maintain proper after care. Ed rolls up his sleeves and shows his forearms for the first time and they see the tattoos there and start freaking out and he’s like 'oh I forgot’ and kinda embarrassed but then they start fawning and asking questions and saying how good they look.

He’s blushing at the compliments and they ask him if he has more and he’s like ‘ya’ and ends up showing them the rest across his chest and back. Eddie takes his shirt off Bev hollers out “whooo strip tease” and they all laugh. 

Ben is jealous and wants to get some. Bev only has a couple small tattoos of her own she shows. Richie is uncharacteristically quiet but he can’t even hear over the sound of his heart beating in his ears. He catches Eddies eyes after looking up from his body, and feels he must say something so he stumbles out a

“you look, uh they are neat” with a stupid smiling he can’t stop if he wanted to. Eddie smiles at the attention. Ben asks if he’s going to get more and Eddie says maybe, and says they should go together. Mike asks if they hurt and Eddie laughs and say

“well ya, some more than others, but it’s fun” someone calls him a masochist for getting so many, they laughs.

* * *

Later when it’s just Richie and Eddie, Eddie has a t-shirt on and his arms are exposed. Richie sees a tattoo on the inside of his forearm he hasn’t before,

“is that an arcade game?” he asks nodding to Eddie's arm.

“Ya, one of my earlier ones” turning his arm over more to look at it.

“You didn’t even like the arcade as a kid though”, Eddie shrugs and answers

“maybe not my favorite place, but I loved spending time with you, guys” the guys seemed added and was slightly to far after the you but Richie didn’t want to dwell on diction. Richie reaches out and ghosts his fingers over the art causing Eddie to flinch slightly

“oh sorry do they hurt?” He asks, Eddie’s response is warm with amusement

“oh no these r long healed it just tickled”. 

* * *

They all get matching bird tats after to remember the boy they loved who loved the birds. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who would make the first move?

Eddie is definitely a top baybee, Richie would never make the first move. Even though Eddie is shy about his looks and body and health from a life of insults and gaslighting from his mother. But once he works up the manic courage to jump in, he’s all in.

After a laughing fit over something stupid, in Richiee’s tv room, Eddie just leans forward, getting in close, while they smile still giggling. Richie looks confused, Eddie then reaches up on his toes and places a kiss on Richie’s lips. Pulling back only by lowering his heels to steady himself. It was soft and warm, yet fleeting, it’s like it didn’t even happen besides for the fact he’s still standing inches away, chest to chest, waiting for a reaction. Eddie gets tired of waiting for the trashmouth who’s uncharacteristically quiet to act and decides to let his actions speak. Eddie leans up and kisses Richie again, for longer this time; putting one hand on his shoulder and leaning his body in closer. Richie reacts this time by gasping and putting a hand Eddies back, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pressing each other yet closer. Eddie whispers Richiee’s name in between two more chaste kisses. 

They pull apart and stare at each other 

“Damn Rich are you ok with this? Your not saying anything”. Richie’s pupils are blown wide 

“Fuck Eds is this real? This is so good it’s unreal, I’ve been wanting to do that for so long. I never.. I mean,.” he’s blushing and cuts himself off

“No stupid jokes about my mom? Be serious about this” he smirks “I’ve wanted to kiss you for probably years” his smirk turns self deprecating. Richie’s eyes flash with sadness with the thought of the wasted time between them since he had been in love with Eds for years as well. 

Wanting to stop that sad look, Eddie leans for ward and up again and gives Richie a long deep kiss, he ends with a nip to the taller boy’s bottom lip. 

“Wanna make up lost time?“ Eddie then grabs Richie’s hand and heads to Richie’s own room. 


	3. Chapter 3

“I wish I had hair like you, it’s so neat and smooth, I hate this rat’s nest” Richie complains, while ruffling Eddies swooping brown hair. But Eddie doges his hands after a few passes and shakes his head

“what! Curly hair is so cool. I wish I had yours, though you could take better care of it.” He smirks cheekily.

Richie just whines about it being too much work as Eddie reaches up to fluff the curls. No real purpose other than play with them.

* * *

Eddie calling him on the phone on days where they don’t hangout, complaining, gossiping, planning the future. From sleepovers and hangouts there always seems to be something left at the others place, a jacket, a notebook, a comic, a part of them comfortably left behind knowing they will retrieve it soon enough. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fun hangout, a twisted ankle resulting in a piggyback ride   
> (i never leaned out to format speech and when to make a new line, and at this point i'm to scared to ask)

The group of friends just hangout, playing in the woods just exploring and doing dumb shit, climbing trees and swinging off branches. Mike and bill and pretend fighting with sword sticks, while Stan and Ben sit under a tree talking, leaving Richie and Eddie to climb the tree across from them. Eddie is following the path Richie is taking, using branches and knots to reach the higher limbs. Richie scoots out along the branch holding onto surrounding one’s for support as he makes room for Eddie to join him. Eddie sits straddling the branch with his back to the trunk. He frets about them falling out and puncturing a lung, but Richie assures him they won’t fall.

About 15 feet up in the air they look down at their friends, conversations faint and mumbled by the sound of nature and their breathing. They sit and talk, about how this is the first Summer Eddie ever climbed a tree and how his mother would die on the spot if she saw him up here. Richie calls him brave and pats his knee. Eddie smiles. Richie holds the branch tighter so his fluttery heart doesn't make him fall. When Eddie starts freaking out about a filthy bug crawling on his side he is looking around for a stick to get it off him, but instead of handing him a stick Richie just scoots forward and puts his hand next to the bug letting it crawl onto him. Removing his hand from Eddies small waist he flicks his hand into the air forcing the bug to take flight and find somewhere else to be. Richie hated that he took every excuse to be close to and touch Eddie, but he just couldn’t help himself. Now sitting closer almost in between Eddies legs Richie stares at him for a prolonged pause before adjusting his glasses and asking if they want to head down and Eddie nods, but he looks down and looks like he will be sick, so Richie reaches out and holds his shoulder, telling him they will just go down the way they came up and it will be easy. Eddie asks if Richie can go first and he agrees, so Richie lowers himself to the first branch and starts to climb down, keeping an eye on Eddie above him, making sure he follows. Richie makes the final jump down landing and looking up. Eddie follows but when he lands he falls forward crying out in pain. Richie curses and steps over to Eddie going to his knees to see what happened. The others come rushing over asking what Richie did this time, and what happened. Eddie is sitting up and tells them he landed wrong on his ankle. Richie reaches out and touches his leg before looking at Eddies face worried, Eddie looks around at his friends worried faces assuring them it’s not that bad and just sprained a little. Richie smiles and tells them that at he was right and they didn’t ‘fall’ out of the tree, like the others warned them as they had started to climb. They all tell him to piss off but Eddie laughs and it makes Richie smile even wider. They help Eddie stand and he tests putting weight on his foot, he winces and says ow, and then looks at the sky seeing the first shades of sunset, they all know he needs to be home before dark or else Ms. K will put him on lock down for a week. Eddie stands on one leg holding bills arm for support,

“my mom's gunna kill me if I’m not home soon, but I can’t walk all the way home on this”. Some throw out ideas of going to tell Ms.K so she’s not as mad when he’s late, or come pick him up, but they decide against because she openly hates all of Eddies friends and this will just cause more grief. Richie smiles says

“I can carry you”

to this Eddie game laughs “har har, another great idea”.

Richie adjusts his glasses “come on, I’m serious, it’s not that far and your tiny” Eddie is revving up to start an argument about only being a few inches shorter than him when Richie turns around and kneels on one knee. Bill shrugs and Ben says it’s the best idea they have. This isn’t even the first piggyback ride Richie has given him but Eddie still feels weird about it. As the smallest in the group Eddie often finds himself being picked up or carried even by Bev.

“Tell me if I get to heavy I can probably walk some” Eddie tells him as they start the walk to his house, Rich calls out affectionately “light as a leather Ed’s”, Eddie rolls is eyes and responds by squeezing Richie’s waist “don’t call me that, dick”.

Richie smiles and says “sure sure” but knows he will never stop, just like he will never stop memorizing the warm weight of Eddie pressed against his back, and the hands at his shoulders, or the soft breaths that graze the back of his neck. Richie hates to admit defeat but he takes mike up on one of his offers to ‘take a turn’ because they still have a ways to go and Eddie isn’t actually ‘light as a feather’. Richie bends down and Eddie puts his weight on his good foot before mike comes over and he gets on his back.

“Precious cargo there mike, be careful” Richie jokes as he stretches. Mike laughs and they keep walking, talking and making plans for some fun things to do with less walking until Eddies foot feels better. And they brainstorm the best lie to tell his mom if she finds out he hurt his foot. By the time they get within a few houses on Eddies they have all taken turns carrying him, and decided on the lie of ‘sleep on it wrong’ if his mom sees him limping. In front of his now Eddie gets down and stands, they give their goodbyes and some hugs before the rest of them head off for home, leaving Richie and Eddie.

Eddie uses his arm for balance as they talk, “sorry I had to muck up our plans with my stupid ankle” Eddie apologizes feeling bad everyone has to now accommodate him.

Richie smiles reassuringly “screw the woods, we can just play games at my house and eat snacks and have just as much fun”

Eddie nods and says “maybe your right, for once”.

Richie puffs out his chest and points his thumb at himself “you fucking bet your sweet ass I am”,

Eddie rolls his eyes and says “kiss your mother with that foul mouth”,

Richie smiles knowing he’s gunna get shit for it but says “no, but your doesn't complain”. Eddie covers his laugh by telling him to shut up. They walk to the front door, Eddie using Richie as support, Eddie opens the front door and they hear Ms.K yell out

“Edward is that you my baby boy”

Eddie calls out “yes mommy”

her response of “ok baby, wash up dinner is almost ready”, has Eddie then turns back to Richie snickering and rolls his eyes “bye dumb ass, see you later”, Richie backs up leaving Eddie at the door he smiles and says

“see you later, baby boy” he watched Eddie turn pink and open his mouth to retort back with an insult but Richie doesn't give him the chance before turning and running off. Leaving Eddie to close the door and force his warm cheeks and pounding heart to calm down, he tells himself he’s mad at yet another stupid nick name from his friend, but, he doesn't truly hate them. For some reason the childish nickname from his mom that usually just annoys him is far more meaningful and fun from his friend. Weird. As Richie jogs home he curses himself for being so impulsive, he shouldn’t call his friend ‘baby’ but he couldn’t stop himself from mimicking the pet name from his mother just to get a rise out of Eddie, he never can stop himself when it comes to his friend. Always going to far trying to make him laugh, always going to far when trying to be near him. He really hopes he’s not as obvious as Ben’s crush, he can’t be? What if people know. He stops running to consumed with his thoughts. Ben is always there for Bev, doing things for her, asking her if she’s ok, letting her vent to him, staring at her when he thinks no one is looking. He hates how much he sees himself in these actions. He can’t have a ‘crush’ on his best friend? Can he? 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie being jealous of Bev  
> Drunk type headcanons

The losers are hanging out partying; Bev and Richie are smoking and Eddie calls them out for being nasty and they are like 'guess we will just be nasty together' and Richie shotguns a drag of smoke from Bev. When pulling away Richie looks Eddie in the eyes before blowing it out at him in a misshapen ring. Eddie then throws a drama queen fit

"an attempt on my life was just made" but he hates to admit he’s a secretively jealous of what or who he doesn’t know, maybe the cool and calm casual intimacy they have with each other? He tells himself he just think the smoke looks cool; not that seeing Richie's lips on Bev's made his blood hot and think about what it would feel like to be in her place... #gay denial

* * *

When Stan drinks he vibes so hard with Richie and Eddie's loud, crass, chaotic energy and the three of them end up bouncing off the walls and doing the dumbest shit. Bev and Mike are more low key drunks, introspective, often talking about deep hurts and regrets while laughing at the others stupidity. Ben (like how he is sober) is kind and gentle, always trying to take care of his friends. Bill doesn't get drunk often, when he does he's prone to becoming emotional but the other losers know how to keep him happy. 


	6. Chapter 6

In their sweet new hangout Ben made them they all often hung out there and even smaller groups of them would just go and talk enjoying the secrecy and security. Richie was in the hammock reading a comic and Eddie was sitting on a crate close by, Richie is one of thoughse annoying people who laugh when they read something funny and then when people ask ‘what’ they just say something vague like ‘this comic’. And Eddie wasn’t having it after Richie laughed for the fitfh time he went over and crouched down next to him to see the book, Richie moved it away and looked at him

“what are you doing”,

Eddie shook his head annoyed “what’s in the comic, let me read it”.

But Richie wasn’t done yet so he just put it on his chest and said “no I’m not done yet”, which made Eddie blow air out his nose,

“with your shit for brains it will take you years to finish it”

Richie stuck his tongue out “enjoy waiting nerd”. Eddie stood up as Richie went back to reading, and just as he was getting back into the plot of the villains and super hero’s he laughs at some dumb outfit, and then a dark figure is next him him. at first he thinks Eddie is gunna try and flip him out of the hammock and take his seat but then Eddie just somehow manages to sit down and lay down next to him, Richie now squished looks at Eddie next to him,

“um... what’s up”.

Eddie smiles and elbows his side “this way I can read the comic at the same time so you can’t spoil it” he reaches out as pushes the comic up so they can both see it, but truth be told, Richie gave up on reading unable to focus on anything but Eddie next him. 

* * *

Bill may be their leader but after Beverly joins the losers after being shunned and bullied by all the other kids and rumors spreed by the popular girls jealous of her looks, she gains all of their affection and admiration at her cool and calm demeanor. Since the day she helped them steal from the corner store they all loved her, Richie made sure to compliment her often to counteract all the slurs and insults from the other girls because Beverly is amazing and he hopes she knows it. Beverly and Richie are first to arrive at the quarry where they r all meeting that day, they get off their bikes and sit in the grass over looking the lake. They talk as they wait and soon Beverly takes out her cigarettes and lights one, Richie has been curious about them before knowing they aren't for kids makes him want them, he asks her why she smokes and she says

“they calm me down when I’m stressed” Richie nods but he doesn't really get it. He asks what they taste like and she takes a drag before holding it out for him, he takes it from her holding it for a second before bringing it to his lips and breathing in, he feels nothing until he gets to the end of his breath removing it from his lips handing it back to her he starts to blows the smoke out and coughs at the end, it feels weird and warm. Bev snickers at him and he rolls his eyes at her.

He clears his throat and looks at her “I don’t feel calmer?”

She brows out a cloud from her nose and responds “well it takes more than one drag”

‘oh’ for a loss of what to really say. She holds out the pack asking if he wants one, he thinks for a second, Bev smoking makes her seem cooler and almost untouchable and Richie desperately wants to be cool especially to her so he takes the pack, removing one. She motions for him to put it to his lips. He does, and she pulls out her lighter, learning forward.

“Breath In when I light the end so it catches” she instructs him before using the lighter to spark the end, he was slightly scared having a flame just inches from his face. He breaths in as she leans back. Taking the now lit cigarette from his lips he blows out. What they didn’t notice was Eddie coming up the path, he sees Bev and Richie close together smoking and laughing and he feels stupid for how his heart hurts slightly with jealousy at the flirty remarks Richie always makes towards her. She is beautiful and so cool, so he ‘understands’ why Richie likes her so much, he walks closer and they turn to greet him with smiles and warm remarks. Eddie almost trips because he isn’t watching his footing instead he’s only watching Richie with his dark messy hair and pale skin sitting there in the grass with the sun behind him catching the smoke from his lips drawing Eddies eyes further, as Eddie stumbles slightly and catches himself Richie laughs at him and makes Eddies cheeks warm, he tells him to ‘fuck off or I’ll just leave’,

Richie whines “don’t be so serious Ed’s”,

Eddie really wouldn’t and can’t leave because Richie is smiling at him and he hates but covers his flush with a grumbled “don’t call me that”. Bev finishes her cigarette and flicks the end into the lake, 

“ew, Bev! We swim in there?” Eddie chastises, Richie laughs

Bev shrugs “shit I guess your right, I didn’t think that far ahead”,

Richie blows out another breath of smoke drawing Eddies eyes to his lips hypnotically

“Eddie always is the smart one” Richie says as Eddie looks up to meet his eyes, Eddie looks away hoping Richie didn’t see him staring. They talk and wait for the others to show up, Richie keeps smoking and Bev try’s to teach him how to blow rings but he only ends up coughing, they laugh at him but as Eddie is laughing his chest feels tight and he starts coughing as well, but his doesn't stop and can’t catch his breath, Richie and Bev are looking at him and then Richie says

“oh shit” he throws his cigarette into the lake and sits up “I totally forgot, I’m sorry”

he scoots closer as Eddie unzips his fanny pack taking out his inhaler and activating the spray he breaths in trying to slow his breaths and fill his lungs instead of hyperventilating, but it’s not really helping that Richie keeps getting closer and asking if he’s ok in a scared concerned voice. Eddie looks up and meets the gaze of Richie about a foot away now

“we all know I’m dumb but I must be brain dead to forget my best friend has asthma. You're ok right?” Richie asks again. Eddie is catching his breath and hopes they write his blush off on the asthma and not the concern from his friend,

“ya I’m fine don’t worry about it guys” he says as he puts his inhaler away. Eventually the others show up and they all forget about the incident as they explore the woods. The day is ending and they are all heading home, like usual Richie walks Eddie home before heading to his to ‘maximize friendship time’ and ‘not worry Ms.K’ because she doesn't like Eddie walking around alone. As they near his house they cut through the park and stop at the swings for a minute, when their conversation dies down

“hey I’m sorry for the smoking thing” Richie says,

Eddie sees his chance for a joke and hopes it will lighten the mood and reassure his friend he’s not mad “I guess you just take my breath away” he laughs at his own joke and Richie is killed, he hopes his long hair and glasses hides his blush at hearing Eddie say something so cute and laughing. Richie makes a your mom joke and they keep walking to Eddies house. Eddie was torn between telling him to stop smoking because it’s a dirty habit and will make him sick, but at the same time he feared Richie wouldn’t care what he thinks 

* * *

After the fight where bill wants them to keep fighting it and Richie tells him to stop and that he’s putting them in danger and that Eddie almost died. Bill is only thinking about the person in his life that meant the most to him, his baby brother Georgie who was ripped away from him by that monster, but Richie was also thinking about the most important person in his life, his best friend Eddie. The fight ended with bill punching Richie and then all separating. As Richie headed him he started to tear up with anger and sadness as he got lost in thought, he knew bill was hurt they all knew Georgie and he was a good kid, but he didn’t have to act like a bully and put them in danger. What could they even do against that monster anyway. He’s a few streets from his house when he heard feet running behind him, he tenses up scared it’s bowers coming to mess with him, or billy not done arguing, but he sighs with relief when he hears Eddie call out

“slow down you ass, I have asthma”.

Richie quickly tries to wipe his eyes and face before Eddie gets to him, replacing his glasses he turns to meet Eddie coming up beside him. Slightly doubled over Eddie catches his breath and starts to talk

“Bill shouldn’t have hit you, he’s just upset like everyone else, he didn’t mean it, I just-” he finally stands up fully and looks Richie in the eyes and frowns, Richie panics and knows he can tell he was crying, ‘shit’. Richie laughs and turns to the side to keep walking

“ya ya, don’t worry your pretty little head I know, that clown is just messing with our heads”. Eddie stays quiet for a moment, 

* * *

Richie knocked on Eddies front door and was meet by Ms.K who he asked “hello Ms.K you look very pretty today, can Eddie come hangout”. She looks him up and down and purses her lips,

“Eddie isn’t feeling well”, she tells Richie who frowns

“oh well, I hope he feels better” he says but as she is going to close the door on him he sees Eddie walk into the hall and say “oh Richie hey what’s up”. His mom tries to stop him but he says he feels fine and eventually negotiates a deal that if he picks up an inhaler prescription he can hang out with his friend for a few hours and he home for dinner. Once Ms.K gives Eddie many goodbye hugs and kisses they manage to escape and head into town. Eddie is pissed she lied and said he was sick, she’s always doing that to try and get him to not see his friends. Once at the corner store they head inside to pick up the prescription, Eddie heads to the back while Richie looks around for nothing in particular. He can hear Eddie talking to the girl working the counter giving his name and pickup order, he perks up when he hears her tell him

“all this bullshit you take and what you really need is something to fix that ugly face”

he also hears Eddie polity respond “maybe, I don’t know ... I’m just here for the inhaler is it ready?”

And Richie is already making his way over to the back, ready to throw hands with whoever is being so rude to his friend.

She hands a bag to Eddie and says “here're your ugly pills freak”

Eddie is reaching for the bag and saying “it’s actually not pills it’s-"

Richie bursts forward and grabs the bag from her staring her down and asking “what did you say to him you hag?” All joking gone from his voice.

She rolls her eyes and scoffs “what your boyfriend come to defend your scrawny ass”. Richie wants to jump the counter but Eddie is backing up already and Richie can see out of the corner of his eye that he looks uncomfortable, so instead he just knocks over a brochure display off the counter and turns to head after Eddie. Leaving the store Richie is still pissed off and wishes he had the right thing to say to her that would really dig deep but he can’t think past all the anger. Once outside Richie hands the bag over to Eddie,

“what is her deal? Is she always a bitch to you?” Richie asks.

Eddie fiddles with the bag “um, I don’t know, she’s just messing around, she just jokes about my height and stuff. Like you do” Eddie responds, and Richie is left gaping like a fish for a second

“what! She wasn’t joking around she was just bullying you? And you know I don’t actually mean the jokes I say, right?” Richie tapers off getting quiet scared Eddie really thinks he’s bullying him when he jokes around.

Eddie looks down “ya, I guess I know she’s not joking but it’s easier to say than admit she just hates me for no reason, so many people already do I just didn’t want to add another to the list. And of course I know your not serious when you joke around” Eddie messes with his fanny pack.

Richie sighs in relief “that’s good, but she’s totally wrong, you may be a weezy, short, mama's boy, but your totally cute and she’s probably just jealous of your youthful good looks” Richie cups Eddies face and squishes his cheeks

Eddie slaps his hands away and says “beep beep dumbass”. But Richie can see Eddies smile behind the annoyance. 


	7. Chapter 7

The loser's group are going down into the sewers to look for Pennywise’s nest so they can pour some gasoline on it, they didn’t really think the plan through just went with their guts. They were sick of being harassed by the clown and wanted to fight back.

At the sewer entrance Eddie starts to bitch about the nasty water and getting sick, and offers to keep watch at the mouth of tunnel, but Bill and Stan shut that down quick saying it’s a terrible idea to split up and make an easy target for Pennywise, this scares Eddie but he still looks at the water with a scowl.

Richie walks back over and turns around to say “I’ll carry you, your so small I won’t even break a sweat”

Eddie complains about that option but eventually gives in and climbs on. Richie was very wrong, he’s fucking heavy. They are a couple hundred feet down the tunnel following the ankle deep water, when they hit a dead end. Richie goes to turn around but he steps on a rock and starts to fall, letting go of Eddies legs to steady himself.

...Long story short Eddie ends up fall into into the water, Richie turns around apologizing but starts laughing when he sees Eddies horrified and scandalized face.

Richie puts out his hand saying “sorry Eds”. Eddie is mad as hell and the stupid nickname pushes him over the edge, he pulls himself up with Richie’s hand then uses the force to slam his hands into Richie’s chest, Richie falls back landing with a giant splash and grey water gets over his entire body. Not only is he covered in sewage water, his glasses went flying, but through his blurry vision he can see Eddie standing above him hallowed by the flash lights behind him, and Richie is about to start cursing when Eddie starts laughing his ass off, and Richie can’t even feel mad. His chest tightens when Eddies blurry form moves forward and crouches in-front of him

“you look like a rat, I almost feel bad” Eddies warm smile removes all sincerity from the insult. Richie holds his breath as Eddie extends a hand and moves his damp bangs off his face, “I will definitely feel bad if you lose your glasses though so help me look” Eddie then starts to look around in the water while the others complain but come to help them look. Richie smiles because no matter what he would do anything to hear Eddie laugh and see him smile even if it’s blurry and he’s covered in grey water. Eddie stands up holding the glasses he wipes them clean as Richie stands there dripping. Eddie comes over and hands them over.

Stan huffs loudly “we can’t take you two anywhere”. They don’t find Pennywise’s nest that day. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the losers had realized Pennwise's weakness when they were kids and defeated it then

In the underground cavern IT was harassing them and has them all trapped and is threatening to kill them unless Richie tells his dirty secret, just to watch him squirm with no real intention of freeing them.

They are all confused and like wtf, they are getting backed further in and shits hitting the fan, and Pennywise cackles “tell them Richie, tell them who you love!"

Bill is like “just tell us what?”

As the cave starts to flood with bloody water. Richie is freaking out trying to escape the cave,

“it's just bull-shitting us” Richie tries to deflect the question. When they realize trying to escape isn’t working they press Richie again,

“Is it bev? That’s totally understandable she’s really pretty, no one will judge you man” Mike calls out trying to comfort the distressed boy, and Ben chimes in

“ya man no one cares if you like Bev, everyone already knows I like her to”.

Richie is feed up with everything and whips around screaming “IT'S NOT BEV” before looking around terrified and anxious. The blood is rising higher and Richie just turns back and screams at pennywise “fuck you clown bitch, I'v been in love my best friend Eddie Kaspbrak since we were 13, happy now?!”

For a second nothing happens then the bloody water rises up like a wave and crashes over them, when they hit the ground again and look around they are back in the cave opening. They all cough and start to stand, Richie is first up heading for the opening

“I’m leaving, this isn't working, I’m going home before I die”

they call after him telling him to stop, but when he hears Eddie shout out the command “Richie stop” in an exasperated voice, he does. Eddie jogs up behind him placing a hand on his shoulder turning him to meet, “you are my best friend” Eddie starts “and I’m happiest when we are together, so,” he leans forward and places their foreheads together and closes his eyes before finishing “let’s, kill this fucking clown” they meet eyes and Richie laughs.

Just as they are turning back to the group to regroup and plan their next move, Pennywise’s hellish clown voice “foolish, disgusting, sick children, you will die one by one-“ and he gets cut off by mike screams out “shut up clown”, Pennywise as a half spider half clown beast comes running at him teeth bared, pining him to the ground as they thrash. Richie picks up a rock and hurls it at Pennywise’s grotesque body; shouting“get off him” as he throws.

Pennywise does just that but wheels around and jumps at Richie, grabbing his arm as he swings a punch, before digging his claws into it drawing blood. Pennywise mocks his cry of pain before insulting him “ugly sick little Richie, no one will EVER love you, you will die alone and the only reason I haven't killed you yet is I know living is worse for u” he grabs Richie’s face and lifts him up into the air and throwing him, “but maybe I’ll kill you anyway and put you out of your misery” Pennywise says as he crawls closer to the gasping Richie on the ground bleeding.

Eddie snaps back into reality at this and stammers out “you're just a fucking clown! A bully! a bastard! Killing children because your a weak, sick, fucking coward” his voice gets louder as he too picks up a rock throwing it at Pennywise, anything to get it to stop hurting Richie to distract the creature away from his intention of killing his best friend .

The rest of the group runs to Richie and joins in on the insults and rock throwing. Bev screams “you are pathetic, you never scared me and you know it, you had to rely on cheap tricks of mimicking my father to get scare me” nailing him in the leg making one of it’s sharp spider legs buckle and fall to his knee.

Ben runs up and kicks another leg down snapping it in half with a crack “I’m worthy, I have friends who love me, and I’m not FAT” he screams as he uses the severed leg to spear the creatures bulbous body, spurring and leaking thick black blood.

Mike yells out “my parents death was a tragic accident and I was only a little kid”

Bill picks up the statement “I was only a KID” they yell and scream and kick him, his size and aura seem to shrink before their eyes, he tries to back up dragging his shattered legs. He swings out his scythe claws trying to impale them but his slow movements and weak insults didn’t have any force. They stand over his shriveled corpse as it blinks up at them, Mike looks at everyone and declares, “we have something you will never understand, we have love and we will heal, but you. You die here. No more children hurt, no more death, you are just a clown with a beating heart and we are going to kill you” before reaching down and digging his nails into his chest and ripping out a small black pushing heart, they all reach forward and crush it. Making sure he was truly dead this time. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie's d**th was just It's illusion to scare Richie with the thing he feared the most  
> they all survive (Stan highkey had his wife lie and say he was dead so he didn't have to show up)

During the final fight when Pennywise caught Richie in the dead lights he had further sway over his mind and projected an illusion onto Richie of his biggest fear, his friends dying because of him, dying to save him, when he doesn't deserve it or even want to live in the first place. A suicidal man saved by another’s death, pathetic. But as Richie screams and sobs the others are so confused and need to fight Pennywise so they let him just sob while they kill it then as the caves start to collapse they try and get him to leave and he keeps looking at empty rocks? Confused they run and drag him any way. Not until they are out of the house and it falls do they finally ask him wtf he is doing and he’s like “wtf we could have saved Eddie” and they r like “bruh Eddie is here” and his illusion slips further and he realizes it was all fake. Eddie is as ok as any of them, dirty and bleeding and bandaged, but alive. Richie tries to act normal, act like his world didn’t just end but as he stands up straight and try’s to run his hand over his wet hot face in a nonchalant manner but pushes his glasses up and leaves it there covering his eyes unable to face his friends and questions. But he pulls it together and pushes out a fake laugh like vomit.

“Sorry about that guys, the dead lights hit like bad shrooms” he removes his glasses and tries to clean them with shaking hands “guess Pennywise forgot to trip sit me, Huh?” He desperately tries to fill the silence with anything. He startles when hands cover his shaking ones thumbing at the broken lens, he looks up.

Eddie, living, breathing, not dead, looks at him with a sad smile and says “I’m ok, your ok, we’re all ok, we did it, we killed that fucking clown” ending with a cheekier smile trying to lighten the mood by repeating Richie’s battle cry. They manage to keep it together and make it to the cliff over looking the lake. Eddie scoffs and declares he would rather go back to fighting Pennywise than jump into the filthy lake “god knows what antibiotic resistant Bactria are in there”.

But one by one the others loser jump down, eventually bobbing back up and splashing around. Soon it’s just Eddie and Richie left on the cliff, Eddie sits down at the edge looking out over the water

“go join them I’m fine here” Richie fake laughs

“you'd make a miserable lifeguard” Eddie scoffs at his jest.

Richie takes a seat next to him “honestly I’m so tired I think if I jumped in I might just not come up”.

Eddie responds with “Good thing I’m the life guard then”. 

Eddie catches Richie staring at him and looks over raising a brow, “honestly, I’m glad I killed Henry, I’m just sorry I ran before I could stop him sooner” he trails off with the implied ‘before he hurt you’. Richie was a coward, but so was Eddie, but at least together they never felt as scared. 

Eddie sighs and looks out over the water down at their friends “I wish I hadn’t forgotten, I wish things could have been different, I wish I wasn’t so scared all the time, back when we were all together I felt so much braver”

Richie hums in agreement, “well we r all back together now, and hopefully we won’t forget again, well truthfully I never forgot completely” Richie admits

Eddie looks over wide eyed “how? Did you remember It?”

Richie grimaces at the name, “no none of that stuff, but I remembered some of the good times, and mostly the emotion, like a foggy dream I could only partly remember, but I never forgot you” Richie feels his throat getting tight with stress and anxiety, he is admitting to much being so obvious, so stupid, he has only just gotten his friend back and he’s trying to ‘ruin’ it. Eddie breaths a deep breath and bumps their shoulders together “I won’t forget again, I promise, no matter what”. They look out over their friends diving around in the water

* * *

Their wet friends hike back up to them about half an hour later looking like wet rats but happy. They all trek back into town knowing they will soon have to return to their lives. They spend one last evening together, laughing and talking at the inn's downstairs bar, someone puts music on and they all start ragging on their taste until they decide to put on classic 80’s pop, reminiscent of their childhood. Richie goes up stairs and brings down 3 full bottles of liquor, and when Bev laughs and asks if he’s an alcoholic, he responds with

“that’s showbiz baby” with a wink

placing the bottles down in front of them and going to find some glasses. Eddie is slightly concerned thinking about the one small duffel bag Richie brought containing this much booze? He wonders why? Richie in collecting glasses takes a breath and hopes he doesn't say anything he will regret but he can not be sober right now and at least if they r all drunk he won’t feel as much like a freak. 

Bev like usual if the first to raise her shot and drink, Mike and Bill choose to drink mostly from the wine bottle but still start to feel the effects. Soon they are all drunk and it’s getting late at night. Eddie’s phone starts ringing and he looks to see another call from his wife, he groans and ignores it,

Richie asks “what is that the twentieth time today? Why don’t you just answer before she puts out an amber alert on you”

Eddie sighs and says “I guess your right” he sighs and pours out another glass before clicking the missed call, they can all hear the loud screaming voice when she picks up, Eddie sips his drink and holds the phone an inch from his head,

“Myra, I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call, I’m fine,” she screams more as every one just sits around quiet not knowing what to do, “listen Myra, stop crying for a second please? I want a divorce. I’m not happy and haven't been for a while, I’m sorry, we can talk when I get back tomorrow but I’m not staying”

they all stare open mouthed at Eddie as he sips his drink in a causal manor while saying this. He says goodbye and ends the call. Looking at Richie he declares “you were right I feel much better” they all start laughing and hooting and ribbing at Eddie for being such a “lady killer”.

Eddie groans and puts his head in his hands “I can’t believe I married my mom, I feel like I completely wasted the past 5 years” Richie pats his back and

Bev chimes in “I married my father, abuse and all, but now we are both middle aged bachelors and the world is our oyster” her tone is upbeat and hopeful but her words miss the mark a little, but her smile cheers him up. She winks and adds “and lots of people are into short men”

Eddie bolts up and yells “I’m normal height” as Bev shrieks and hides behind Ben while laughing. Richie’s heart skips a beat at the knowing look Bev throws at him after purposefully saying people instead of women, does she know he frets but takes a deep breath,

"Bev has always been to smart” Bill chimes in “I bet Richie can hook you up with some ladies in the city, I bet all the ladies are throwing them selves at a famous comedian” they look at Richie

“oh ya sure, I’m swimming in it, you know what they say about ugly men, doesn't matter as long as your funny!“

Bev says in an exasperated voice “stoppp” at the self insult and Eddie laughs which makes Richie smile.

“If that’s such sound logic, why are you still single” Eddie prods side eyeing him,

Richie rolls his eyes and says “maybe because I have standards, and.... your mom was already taken” they all go ape shit with laughter. 

* * *

Bev passes out and Ben carries her to her room before returning and saying good night and heading to his, Bill asks Mike if he wants to stay the night and share his bed, he yawns and agrees and that leaves Eddie and Richie to make it up the stairs to their rooms. Eddie stands at the bottom and looks up holding the rail

“I can’t make it, I’m to dizzy” he whines

Richie places his hands on his back and pushes, they manage to climb up the stairs with only stumbling a few times, Eddie is laughing and Richie tells him to hush or he will wake Bev and Ben, but that makes them both laugh more when Eddie tries to stop laughing and snorts.

When Richie stops laughing he says “how r you so loud for such a small person”

Eddie pouts and complains “well your a bully, always picking on the little guy” Eddie looks up with a smile at his joke. They stand there in the dark hall leaning against the wall smiling untill they hear someone vomiting downstairs and Eddie pulls Richie into Richie’s room and closes the door

“I do not want to clean vomit at 2am, while dangerously on the edge of vomiting myself” he looks around the room, “how have we been here like 2 days and u made this much mess?” He walks over to the bed and picks up a pile of clothes and puts them on the dresser and he’s starting to clean up some crumpled paper when Richie laughs and asks:

“but your ok with cleaning my room at 2am?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and holds out the paper as an accusation “maybe I do, why do you have so much crumpled paper in here?” He chuckles and it trying to unfold the paper and read it “is it stand up idea?” But as he’s half way throw in curling it Richie shoots forward and snatches it from his hands, Eddie looks up surprised at the sunset movement, and his sad eyes make Richie feel like a guilty asshole

“it’s just Personal, Sorry”

Eddie shifts and says “it’s ok”.

Richie is beyond stressed, his heart is moments from failing, he’s alone in his bedroom with a drunk Eddie who just almost read one of the failed confessions he wrote the day before, and he’s oh so way to close. Eddie breaks away first and steps to the bed before sitting down on it “I get it, it’s been 27 years, we don’t even know me anymore” he says as he flops backward on the bed laying with his legs off the side. Richie crumpled up the paper and throws it farther away, “I may not know this new you, but I’d like to”.

Eddie smiles and slides his arm out to pat the spot next to him “wanna talk for a while, if your not tired yet”.

Richie sits and says “ya I’d like that”.

Soon Richie is laying next to him, and Eddie is so happy to talk about his life and ask questions about Richie’s. They both admit that they aren't ‘happy’ and wonder how they could have changed the past.

Eddie smiles and explains “honestly deciding to get a divorce is the happiest I’ve been in that relationship, with all my memories back I just feel so foolish for forgetting. But I plan to start living the life I want from now on, after almost dying, after us all almost dying I feel I owe it to Stanley to be happy”.

Richie nods and turns his head to the side sees Eddie’s eyes glassy and on the verge of tears, “Stanley would be so proud of us, proud of you. You were so brave today.” Richie rattles on, he would rather die than see Eddie cry, see him sad. A single tear falls when Eddie blinks and turns his head slightly to meet his gaze, Richie shifts onto his side and reaches over wipe his face. He hates how much he has wanted to touch him since he saw him in the restaurant. And when he grazes his thumb over the side of his face he can’t breath at the way Eddie closes his eyes and looks much less sad. He feels light headed and sick at how much he feels at this moment, as a man who talks for a living he doesn’t have a words for his emotions. Richie wonders what would happen if he just leaned over and kissed him, placed his hands on his chest, his waist, his hair.

But then he imagines Eddie pushing him away, angry and hurt at the betrayal, so Richie pulls back and sits up. “You seem tired maybe you should sleep” Richie says over his shoulder.

Eddie takes a deep breath and sits up rubbing his head, “can, can I maybe stay here, it’s just, last time I was alone in my room Henry, he, was in there..” Eddie trails off looking at his feet. Richie is trying to gather his words but Eddie stands up “sorry never mind I’m fine, I know he’s not there” he tries to take a step but losses his balance and is about to fall when Richie is beside him with a hand on his waist.

“No it’s fine, stay”

Eddie turns and smiles “thanks”. Soon they are under the blanket and the lamp is off.

“Stop stealing all the blankets” Richie whispers,

“then stop, uhhh I don’t know, stop not letting me steal them” Eddie whispers back encoring a chuckle from Richie

“fair argument”.

Eddie scoots closer so their shoulders are touching and turns his head “you sure it’s ok if I stay here”

Richie looks over now without his glasses but still close enough to see “ya, we used to have sleep overs all the time it’s like that but we r old and more traumatized”

Eddie smiles and closes his eyes “your funny”.

Richie curses the darkness and his vision because he wants to memorize every second but the hall light under the door and moon light through the window only give him a ghost of an image in front of him. So instead he closes his eyes and listens to the breaths and focuses on the warmth beside him, not really caring when Eddie steals way more than half the blanket later that night.

* * *

Richie is up first and spends a while staring at Eddie in the sunlight filtering in, but soon his throat gets too tight and he feels sick at the knowledge that in only a few hours he will be gone from his life, so he gets up and leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He goes down stairs and meets Bev in the kitchen area, she hands him a box of cereal. He reaches in and puts some in his mouth, but almost chokes when Bev asks

“did Eddie spend the night in your room?”

As he coughs and tries to answer she adds “I got worried and went to check on him this morning and saw he wasn’t in there” she adds sounding actually concerned, Richie tries to will the rising heat from his face,

“he was scared of his room because of Henry, and asked if he, if I would, he could stay in mine” he tells her stuttering and making Barely any sense, but she nods and holds her hands up,

“that’s cool” she says picking up her bowl again. She adds in a softer tone and volume “I have a lot of regrets, in life, in love, but it’s never to late to try and change the future”.

Richie stammers out a “but..”, Bev cuts him off and gives him more life advice he really needs but doesn’t want to hear. Upstairs Eddie has woken up and realizes he’s alone, he lets out a sad sigh, he decides to get up and go to his room and get ready for the day. he stands and picks up the clothes he left on the floor, he opens the door and walks to his, looking down the stairs he hears talking in the kitchen. Once in his room he throws his clothes on the bed, and he hears a crunch, he looks over and sees one of the crumpled pieces of paper that he grabbed by accident, he goes to pick it up and throw it out, but Eddie is to curious for his own good and feels kinda bad as he opens the note looking around the empty room feeling a little paranoid, he opens it and smiles it is addressed to him, it can’t be bad that he’s reading it if it’s meant for him, but he slides down past the ‘ _Dear Eddie_ ’, and skims the text it’s lines and lines of crossed out words and re-starting at the top he reads

> ‘ _Eddie please don’t be mad, but, ~~I’ve known since we were kids, that you were more special than any one else in my life, and that if I don’t make it back that I hope and pray to a god I don’t believe in that you survive, the world doesn’t even know how lucky it is to have you, amazing, perfect, funny, you.~~ ~~When when I had forgotten all of Derry I remembered you and most days I wished I could forget because all I had was the loneliness and longing for something and someone I can and will never have. Truthfully I hope that I can at least give my life for a greater cause and do one good thing with my life. Iv spent most of my life loving someone I couldn’t remember, and now that I do the pain is almost unbearable, to love someone who can never love you back.~~ I’m sorry’_

Eddie just stands there reading it over and over again, it’s a love confession, cry for help, and suicide note all in one. He folds it up and puts it on his suitcase and try’s his best to focus on getting ready. He looks at him self in the mirror and wonders if what Richie wrote was true, and if it was did he really see him as perfect? Brave? He hated the way the compliments made him feel, in among the depressive ramblings of a man who thought he was going to die before they were read. To be loved, to be wanted, Eddie didn’t even know what to think, so much to process, he thought back to last night when Richie has so many chances to say something, to do something, he blushed at the way he practically thrown himself at Richie, following him around, finding reasons to touch him, practically begging to let him sleep in his bed, and still he did nothing to indicate how this letter said he felt, was he that scared of Eddie saying no?

His own thoughts reminded him of what people would say to him when he was to scared to do something most people didn’t even think about, he knew what it was like to be scared and he knew how Richie must feel. Eddie didn’t know what he felt for Richie but he wanted to spend more time with him and get to know him better. Eddie brushes hair hair again and headed down stairs, he finds Bev and Richie in the kitchen, he hears Bev say

“you should ask Eddie”

as he walks in he asks “ask me what”

Richie turns around dropping cereal on the floor, his rumpled clothes and fluffy hair make Eddie smile, he knows Richie objectively looks like a walking hangover but he doesn't care he looks great to him.

"If you, want some cereal?” Richie asks and Bev rolls her eyes but Eddie doesn't pry further and just takes the cereal box held out for him. They greet the rest as they wake and soon they begin to part ways, they help Eddie carry his bags out to his rental car, they all give him big hugs and Bev tears up,

“Please let’s not wait another 27 years, you have my number and social media, I don’t know what I’m going to be doing with myself in the future but I want you part of my life” Bev really summed up how they all felt and they all agreed to stay in contact. Richie is the last one to say good bye and Eddie takes not how he doesn't move to hug him so Eddie makes the first move and wraps his arms around his taller friend.

“See you soon, I promise” and Eddie plans to keep that promise sooner than Richie expects, as soon as he gets his personal life sorted out he plans to go sit front row of his stand up routine and surprise him. The drive home is full of deep thought and thinking of what he wants in life. He doesn't know how it will turn out in the end but he does know that Richie makes him happy, and feel good, in a way he never felt with his wife. Remembering how devastated and emotional Richie got at the illusion of his death made his gut twist. Could he love a man though? Could he be with a man? It’s not just any man though he thinks, it’s Richie, he tells himself he could at least try. But what if he ends up hurting Richie more than staying away could, he couldn’t live with that. He hums to himself and turns on the radio. He will be ‘home’ soon anyway, he needs to steady himself for the shit show that awaits him. He had expected to see his stuff on the lawn, the locks changed, or maybe Myra had left, but he hadn’t expected to come home and find everything perfectly normal with dinner smells coming from the kitchen and he calls out ‘Myra are you here’ and hear her say

“in here dear” and when he puts his bags down and goes in he finds her with full makeup and curled hair, he sighs to himself and thinks to himself ‘so she is gunna try and convince me to stay, soon she will start guilt tripping me’ and the next words out of her mouth confirm his theory

“oh Eddie, I missed you so much, I was so scared because of the accident, then you just left, I think you might have a concussion from the accident”.

Eddie gives a soft smile and tells her “Myra, I don’t have a concussion, I was with my friends from childhood back home, and I remembered a lot of things I had forgotten, and realized a lot of things about myself, and what I need right now isn’t you, I’m sorry if this seems sudden and hurts you”

she starts to cry and asks “so who is she? What’s her name?” Eddie sighs and sifts where he stands crossing his arms,

“I didn’t meet someone new” he feels slightly guilty about this but it’s not really a lie Richie isn’t new he’s just an old friend who makes him feel happy. The next few days go by in a blur of Myra trying to convince him to stay and Eddie moving forward the separation forward, he has packed up and separated their finances and left the house to her ready to start the new chapter of his life somewhere new, the few friends and coworkers he has told don’t understand why but mostly given him his space. The only thing left is for Eddie to put the rest of his things in storage and make a weekend trip to see a stand up comedy show he bought a front row ticket for. He drives his new car a few cities over where the show was being held that night and checks into his hotel room. He at first organizes his stuff but then tires and lays on the bed looking out the window at the sky willing it to darken and the sun to set so the show can start and he gets to see Richie.

He pulls out his phone and looks at his texts, it’s only been a few weeks but all the losers have been their promise and stayed in contact, reassuring each other and updating on their lives. Ben and Bev have become a couple and he’s so happy for them, Mike sends his love from Florida and he’s having an amazing time there. Bill and him have had long conversations about life and his work as a writer. Eddie is so happy and feels more fulfilled than he has in a long long time; once he and Richie figure out their shit he can truly live happily ever after. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol srry 4 the kinda shit ending 2 this chapter


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> young gay teen secretly in love with his best friend? more likely than you'd think

Eddie got in trouble with him mom again, not for doing anything wrong just because his mother was crazy and saw the mail man coughing and insisted that Eddie was now sick, and banned from seeing his friends. At 7:30pm his mom tucked him into bed like a baby and then went to watch shitty tv till she fell asleep on the couch. He laid there in bed mad at her for always doing this, making him feel so different when deep down he didn’t feel so different from his friends, but on the outside he was ‘weak’ and ‘sick’ and ‘small’ as his mom reminded him daily. He felt angry and sad and was about to turn over and try to sleep before he ended up upsetting himself more with all this thinking. When he heard tapping at his window, when he realized it was too rhythmic for a branch; he shot up with images of a murder, kidnapper, or worse a sick person, at his window. But he was the large glinting lenses of his best friend behind the glass and calmed down, Richie made dumb faces as Eddie got out of bed and walked over. He looked to his door and made sure his mom wasn’t near before getting up and closing it. Next he went to the window and unlocked it and with the skill practice has given him he slide it up quietly.

He leaned out and whispered “what’s up?”

Richie smiled and says “nothing much, just missed you” he pushes the bushes farther from his head and continues “your mom still got you on lock down?”

Eddie sighs and rests his elbows on the window “ya, prison sentence: unknown”

Richie snorts and puts his hand up net his mouth and comedically whispers “well I guess this is a prison break then”, and begins climbing though the window. Eddie leans back to make room for Richie to climb in, telling him to shush and not get caught at even the slightest noise. Once inside he walks to Eddies closet and pulls out a shirt, “change so we can go on an adventure” and throws it over to him, Eddie catches it and holds it close so it doesn’t fall and wake his mom, even though he knows it wouldn’t.

He thinks a moment before looking at the closed bedroom door and saying “ya lets do it”. Richie’s heart sores, he didn’t really think Eddie would agree to break the rules and risk getting in more trouble just to hangout with him. As Eddie changes, Richie rearranges the blankets on the bed to form a small human sized lump under the sheet, Eddie comes over to look at it “that would never trick her” he chuckles, Richie ponders looking back and forth between the lump and Eddie

“ya your right, you are much smaller” he concludes

Eddie gasps “no I’m not”.

Richie is heading to the window, “let’s blow this joint”, he climbs out first and helps Eddie out, stopping him from falling backwards. 

They lower the window leaving only a couple inches for easy access to re-enter. They begin walking down the street,

Eddie asks “where to?”

Richie shrugs “guess the park it’s not to far?”. So they head the couple streets over laughing and talking at full volume in the comfort of being away from Eddies mom.

“What if she checks on me?” Eddie worries out loud, looking over his shoulder,

“just tell her you were kidnapped by a crazed escaped convict” Richie tells him, “I can even give you a couple believable bruises” he says holding up his fists.

Eddie laughs, “that would get me on lockdown till, well forever”. Eddie shivers and rubs his arms even though it’s not cold, “I should have brought a jacket what if I get sick, maybe I can run back real fast and grab one” Eddie says sheepishly.

Richie starts to take his off and cuts off Eddies protest “I can’t have my kidnapped child catching a cold they will add years to my prison sentence” Eddie agrees and puts the warm jacket on. Once at the park they play on the equipment once dumb in the daylight now fun and comical at night. They swing till Eddie feels sick and they lie together on the wide slide looking up at the stars always so visible in Derry. There legs touch and Richie can feel the warmth next to him, Richie tries to fill the silence with jokes and bullshit so Eddie won’t hear his heart beating all to fast for just laying down on a slide. Richie holds his hands at his sides not moving so he doesn’t touch Eddie and give away his crush. But he all but chokes half way through the plot of a tv show he watched when Eddie places his hand on his and squeezes it, Richie looks over at Eddie who says

“sorry, I’m just so glad you always find time to hangout with me even when I make it so hard” he smiles and Richie uses his other hand to fix his (perfectly fine) glasses before saying

“it’s not you, it’s your mom, I know that you get left out even when you want to hangout because she makes you stay home”.

Eddie sighs, I know she’s not the worst and others have it worse, but sometimes, she just makes me feel like a freak. If I could just act like a normal kid I could BE a normal kid”.

Richie takes a breath and tells himself to be brave, as he turns his hand over to lace their fingers and return the gentle squeeze “you are better than normal” he cuts himself off before he can say the ‘your perfect’ that dangerously formed in his mind. Richie was fucked, he may rag on Eddie and joke a lot but he was secretly and deeply in love with his best friend. He was perfect and beautiful and funny and smart, and brave. Others might not see it at first but if they knew him like Richie did they would see it for themselves. Going against his mother and to be alone in the middle of the night in the dark just to hangout with Richie for a couple hours, was brave. If Richie was brave he would tell him the truth and let Eddie decide if he wanted still be friends but Richie is not brave, so it’s his secret. Really the only secret Richie ever kept. If you are an open book no one will ever suspect the single bombshell under the surface. When Eddie yawns Richie decides they should head back, the familiar sidewalk shrouded in night’s darkness makes the world feel like it’s just for them. Back at Eddie’s house they sneak around the side, checking in the living room to see the tv on and his mom still there, before heading around to his window. They push it open and Richie hates that he is so let down that they have to part. They say goodbye and Richie is about to leave and let Eddie to go bed when he hears his name whispered barely audible over the leaves crunching. He turns and steps back towards the window, meeting Eddie with a “ya”.

“Thanks again” from Eddie, as he leans out the window and lightly hugs Richie around the shoulders, Richie brings his arms up and hates, HATES, how much he loves wrapping them around Eddies small waist. They part and Eddie closes the window locking it, and Richie sees his smile before he turns and head home himself. So ya, Richie Tozier is fucked because he is in love with his best friend. Someone he would break any rules for, do anything for. Eddie is about to change when he realizes, he still has Richie’s jacket, no big deal really he will see him soon, but as he changed he sees it on the floor and picks if back up and slowly puts it on. He thinks to himself, this way they aren’t truly apart and he won’t feel so alone. He gets into bed and smiles knowing his best friend truly is great and perfect. 

**Author's Note:**

> some dumb one sentence ideas: Eddie does the classic “let me try on your glasses, wow your blind” bit and Richie is like “har har har I can still see your ugly mug” but really he can’t see shit and Eddie isn’t looking through the glasses anymore, he’s just staring at Richie who can’t see, Eddie thinks to himself that Richie is really pretty, he studies' Richie's handsome face and beautiful eyes, this moment that feels stolen and secret, before giving the glasses back; but not before putting a big purposeful fingerprint on the lenses. 


End file.
